Obama has won the US elections (is that still news by now) yes it is! Why, because all those that thought the Mormon Mitt was a challenger can now gladly cover their faces with blankets but that’s not the issue now.

So today we shall deal with the after-effects of an election loss, Mr. Romney please take your seat! You see all elections have a winner and a loser apart from the Ugandan ones where everyone is considered to have won on the basis of rigging. The fact that you were close challenger, if you were to take lessons from Uganda’s closest challenger for three years running, you should not give up hope.

Let’s devise a strategy that will help you deal with the after-effects of an election loss;

  1. I am not sure if you have any evidence of vote rigging but in Uganda, we can never fail to raise that. Are you sure your voters were not harassed? Did you see huge military tankers drive through your favorite village? Were there goons at an election station wielding sticks and non-uniformed men carrying guns? Did you see stockpiles of teargas canisters? Did you find the voters’ register with impeding irregularities? If your answer is NO, we are not yet out of options man we are the Ugandan populace here helping, not any other rigging nation!
  2. So if we can’t find any of the above first thing to do is refute the election results, call a huge press conference with all the nation’s best journalists and before them, you shall emerge with a furious face clad in Italiano suits and a pen at your discretion, hold with you a sample of the ballot paper and shout to them…..”this cannot happen, this cannot happen…..” I tell you, your fans shall then fight for you to get back in the race……(if it hasn’t ended by then)
  3. Now this is the most viable plan to turn to when all good has gone……grab a cup of coffee and sit back looking at all the amazing captions of the oval house and wonder how close you were to get to that office?, imagine how close it would be for you to be snipped by another Oscar Ortega? When you finally believe you cannot take it come to us for a lasting solution!
  4. Do not go the Ugandan style, trust me you won’t handle being tear gassed each week and multiple arrests but Obama won’t do that to you anyway I have a plan B, next time you have such a crucial election you might need to consult Kiggundu and Museveni, that combo makes the impossible possible, for example in a polling station of 200 voters you could easily come out with 400 votes thanks to their help!
  5. Any way without wasting your time sir, I think you need to consider getting the services of a wine company and rope supplies …..!

Disclaimer:  The contents of this blog post shall not be guiding principle for the actions of Mitt Romney!
congs to Obama! Thumbs up Romney for a close challenge and frowns to Uganda for I have never seen this in my country!

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