while you were away,..

while you were away,..

well, well, well, kids are back for holidays and as a banana republic, we couldn’t fail to find a way to welcome you to the heartiest of places to be. Well after a round of tea at home, you must have noticed things changed in the country, like you might be sweeping the house and find a tear gas canister under the sofas more so if you leave in Kasangati, it’s now a common scenario, don’t even bother reporting to the police you might get your breasts fondled, or just arrested for reporting such things to the police. Hope your parents don’t forget to tell you that police stations are no-go areas for youths.

While you were away we hosted the prestigious IPU, for those that don’t know it’s the inter-parliamentary union and if your teacher of English was just paid enough he must have told you a collection of ducks is also called a parliament, there’s no big difference to what we hosted. It’s just a bunch of cronies that heard we are tourist destination number one and gathered in our country to enjoy the luxurious buses prepared by our state only to be bundled with teargas and bullets. At one point I get the feeling that gov’t told them bird hunting was being carried out next door just to confuse the whole spectacle.

Well when you left, the number of arrests for Besigye numerically increased, if it were a business, it would have recorded the highest number of profits in the past months. Worse-still if he were a drug, no doubt police would be the drug lord.These days, he’s arrested for crimes he is going to commit in the future, then those that happened after he had left a place like a day before.

Any way, you’ll not understand it. Remember before you left we’d hangout in the constitutional square, take ice-cream as we watch the birds and nature, well now it’s a no-go area not for even crossing through so I guess you are not frowning over the police lines that you see guarding it day in day out.

I hope you remember that before you left we had the activists for change, a pressure group that was pressing the tyrant to the wall. well, he outlawed it a few weeks back so don’t ask me about it again, I don’t want to be an item of national interest. Plus before I forget, it’s now unlawful to write books in this country. So please for this holiday don’t write those novels of yours that always landed us in trouble brother plus not to forget calendars are also illegal, that’s why I removed ours.

I noticed you used to buy your things from the ka-shop just across the street well, the problem is that a one musisi jennifer also outlawed them and it was demolished, so if you don’t mind try elsewhere this holiday, she also lost her briefcase to a bunch of goons.

Before I forget, you must have noticed the orange tins patrolling the city, well they are not garbage collection services but you can argue that the contents inside are trash anyway, they are called pioneer buses, they charge 800 for each route, and that must be good news for those of you that lack what to do but want to tour he whole city. Make it a point to do those things you only see in movies, stand up and offer your seat to the old lady coming in.

Well, there are alot of interesting things this holiday, the number one country delinquent bad black was arrested, apparently the money she used to toss around belonged to a certain white guy that got annoyed and sued her in court.

While on the other hand,her fellow delinquent zari, also started her own show which is the only reason a bunch of nothing-doers tune to the state tv.

Any way, while you were away I managed to write to the president if you can read look for my letter to the president

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  • ha ha i hope you will not be interrogated for inciting violence to holiday makers….this is uganda.for God and my country!

    • well , never mind about that my phone will be switched off …umeme cant let me charge….read letter to the president on my blog and you will know why


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